Warning: This is the first time I’m creating a batrep between photos, notes and army chronicler. There are a few moments where I messed up, and really don’t feel like redoing the whole damned thing. Such instances include: the positioning to be slightly off (not often, though) and, mainly, a few small units like chariots and Elven Blademasters to have the frontage messed up on the input- so, between the pics and the actual game photos, I’m sure you can deal with my first foray into this
Dawn of the 9th Age
The Warboss kicked his wolf once, for good measure, as his drunken hordes began their decent into the valley.
“Oi! You lot! Spread out! Let ’em come at us from up da center… then, we’ll pounce”. As far as goblin military tacticians went, Skargit was a cut above.
Even if his ruse was plain as day to the most inexperienced Elf warrior…
….and it certainly didn’t help that his voice carried clear across the valley.
Goblin General: Skargit Crookfang
(S) 11 Wolf Riders, Skargit’s Raidaz
– Wolfriders with Spears, Shields, Light Armour, Full Command, Standard of Discipline
(Buzz) 50 Goblin Runts, Buzzgob’s Raidaz + Buzzgob, Big Boss with GW and LA.
– 50 Goblin Runts: Spear, Shortbows, Shields, Light Armour, Full Command
(Slave) 30 Goblin Runts, Crooked Fang Slaves
– 30 Goblins w/shields, light armour, hand weapons
(D) Deff Diver
(GL11) Gob Lobba
(GL22) Gob Lobba 2
3 Wolf Chariots, Wolf Jalopies
– 3 Wolf Chariots
(Skarg) Goblin Warboss, Skargit
– Wizard Hood, Armour of Supreme Shielding, Shield, Spear, Hound
(Lanca1) Goblin Big Boss, Da Lanca’
– Fire Lance, Dragonscale Helm, Light Armour, Shield, Hound
(BSB1) Goblin Big Boss BSB, Da Banna Wava
– Enchanted Shield, Light Lance, Light Armour, Hound, BSB
(Glug2) Goblin lvl 2 Shaman, Gluglug
– Book of 1000 Incantations, Hound
(AM) Cyr, lvl 4 Arch Mage
– Horse, lvl 4, Chanelling Staff, Path of Life
(M) Mage lvl 2, Mage
– Lvl2, Path of Valour
(EC) 15 Elven Heavy Cav, Elven Cavalry
– Lances, Heavy Armour, Barded Steeds, Shields, Full Command
(LG) 20 Lion Guard, Lion Guard Note: Phoenix Warrior proxies
– Great Weapons, Heavy Armour, Banner of the Dragon
(Bl1) 5 Blademasters, The Jedi
(Bl21) 5 Blademasters, More Jedi
(Bl32) 5 Blademasters, Even More Jedi
(E11) Elven Great Eagle, Eagle
(El22) Elven Great Eagle, Elven Eagle
The battle lines were, almost instantly reformed for the the Goblin hordes. Unfortunately, Buzzgob’s ladz didn’t seem to understand the orders given, and thus, decided it’d be a far better idea to crack open a keg and do as little as possible… ah, gotta’ love unruly…
The magic phase saw little action, PD 5 v. DD 3. Gluglug attempted to cast Vindictive Stare at his quarry, the left-most blademasters, but was thwarted by the power of the Archmage. Skargit, in his typically haughty way, decided to one-up his professional wizard underling, and cast Miasma (rolled Shadow, took the sig) to slow down the Lion Guard. This worked….sort of… -1M. Yay, now they’re as slow as goblins.
Seeing the battle already off to a shaky start, the goblin artillery decided to make their presence known. The first rock lobber veered off it’s target (the Mage), and careened into the Lion Guard, smashing one. The second Lobber scored a direct hit on the same Lion Guard… however, the goblins crewing the machine used mostly pebbles and dung for their ammunition… only 4 of the proud Lions perished. Not to be outdone, the Deff Diver crew aimed at the Elf Wit de’ funny lookin hat, the lone Archmage, scoring a direct hit… causing 5 unsaved wounds. The noble Elven general was not having a good day…
Note: the wolfriders are on the OTHER side of the chariots…oops!
Elves of Light Turn 1
Witnessing their general knocked from his steed, the Elves of Light hatched a plan. A plan so clever you could pin a tail on it and called it a cat (?). As the Heavy cavalry began their flanking maneuver, the eagles got themselves into blocking position… the Blademasters began their advance, as well.
The magic phase… was a bit of an “oops” for the Goblins. 4PD v. 3DD saw the large version of Walk Between World go off, transporting the eastern-most Blademasters behind the tower, threatening the Goblin warmachine battery.
Skargit, the magnanimous villain he is, decided something had to be done…
Goblin Turn 2
…but he wasn’t, for one second, going to let himself be the one to do it! Animosity was okay… but Skargit failed his stupidity check… and another stupidity check (BSB reroll didn’t really help) and was left with his mob of goblins, heroes and shaman.. counting their shoes, rather than paying attention to the battle.
The wolf chariots let out a WHOOOOP! and careened into the western-most Blademasters, while the Slave Mob moved up, threatening the middle unit of Jedi-wannabes. (I’ll pay for this comment later, don’t you worry).
Magic didn’t matter… it was 2 v. 1 and nothing happened.
Shooting was a little more… eventful. One Rock Lobber (the one previously firing random shrubs and dung) loaded an actual rock… and fell over, caught fire and exploded. Laughing hysterically, the next rock lobber fired their payload off into no-mans-land. The Deff Diver crew, knowing it was up to them, landed a direct hit on the lone Level 2 mage… 4 unsaved wounds. Splat. Buzzgob’s ladz, not happy to be outdone, let loose a volley into the nearby, threatening, swordmasters that appeared out of nowhere…. killing 4 of them, their champion remained vigilant and undeterred from his noble task.
In close combat, the western Blademasters were smeared into the dirt by the hollering goblin chariots who (shockingly) passed their LD check, and reformed, readying a charge against the Lion guard. Sure hope they don’t roll high and charge us first… (said every losing side ever).
Elves of Light Turn 2 – This Time, It’s Personal
The Elven host readied their blades- this would be a challenge that…well… goblins are still tougher than …ah… anyways. The Middle Blademasters charged headlong into the goblin slaves, an eagle squawked defiantly and ran forward into Bozzgob’s ladz, the Lion Guard rolled well and ended up in the face of the goblin chariots and the lone Blademaster champ, took the fight to the Doom Diver crew.
Magic and Shooting? All Elves love these phases. Except the kind that don’t. Like… when all the mages are dead and there was no shooting, anyways. So… these Elves don’t. At all,
In close combat, the Lionguard make short work of the charioteers, the slave goblins lose combat, badly, fail-fail their LD tests and are chopped into the grass by a pursuing quintet of Elven Swordsmen. The Eagle loses 2 wounds, and flees from Buzzgobz Ladz “Poultry’s back on the Menu, Boyz!”… but restrain! The Doomdiver crew is eviscerated…causing a panic test in those damned goblins that should have pursued the eagle (just, just close enough to test) and…fail. They, thankfully, roll pathetically low and do not run off the table.
Mental Note: **** Swordmasters….
Goblin Turn 3- What could POSSIBLY go wrong?
prized minions dying in droves, Skargit did what any other Goblin Warboss would do… very little! The wolf mob, and shaman, angled in behind the Lionguard (can’t remember why they weren’t facing properly) and Buzzgobz Ladz rallied (thank god).
Shooting saw the remaining (very brave) Rock Lobber miss the Lionsguard. Magic, on the other hand, saw a not-so-impressive 6PD v. 4 DD. Vindictive Stare went off, smacking into the Lionsguard and, even with the Banner of the Skill-Dragon, saw 8 of them fried! Unbelievable! Gluglug, feeling quite arrogant, decided to throw down his Moon Curse getting a 19… the Elves, mustering their innate magical defenses…. showed 20 on 4 dice.
Elves of Light Turn 3 – What, us worry?
After three turns of sheer chaos, the Elves decided to hang back, a bit. The Cavalry put themselves into charge position on Skargit, the Lionsguard reformed and faced their assailants to come and the lone Bladejedi charged into the rock lobber.
That loan rock lobber was toasted, quite easily.
Nothing awful could POSSIBLY come from this…
Goblin Turn 4 – Skargit’s Big Turn Out!
Feeling rather…miffed… at his loss of valuable slaves, Skargit, Lanca’ and the BSB charged out of their unit and into the Lionsguard. Buzzgob and his lads exposed their rear to the lone SM Champ and ready to take some, fairly ineffective, shots against the middle Blademasters…. until I had realized that…oops, forgot to check unruly. We reset the game state, and everything was fine…oh, except that Buzzgob & co. failed…again. Sigh, well, at least the remaining wolf mob got out of dodge, and the shaman positioned himself for a vortex.
The magic phase saw a whooping 10 v. 5! Skargit 3 diced Miasma, taking the Lionguards Initiative down by…1. Ugh.
Gluglug, in a rage after his last foiled attempt at his Nuclear attack, 5 diced Curse of the Moon… miscasting… and going off on a daunting daunting 32! The miscast took a wound of Gluglug (not too bad, considering) but for the artillery roll of the vortex… misfire. Ugh. Not additional damage went through, but the Elf Cavalry was spared a grizzly fate.
Close combat saw the Lionsguard score a few lucky hits, knocking the BSB out of the fight, while Skargit and Lanca’ took it to the White Lions, slaughtering all but one, who failed his break test, and was run down by the Goblin
Elves of Light Turn 4 – Jedi
This turn happened.
The eagle on the western front lunged into the Wolf mob, the Elven cav failed their charge, the middle Blademasters were stood-and-shooteded(ededed) to death by shockingly accurate archery from Buzzgobz Ladz (don’t get too excited for them) and, coincidentally, were rear charged…by a single… Blademaster champ. Hmm, I wonder what could possibly go wrong there?
The eagle did no damage and suffered 2 wounds in return. The Wolfriders reformed to face their fowl (ha) opponent. Then…there was that….Swordmaster. Blademaster… whatever the **** they’re called now. He killed 3 goblins, took no damage in return. Being steadfast, and all, you’d think the ladz could stick, but…nope. They all ran (all 47 remaining of them) and were run down by a single…god…damned… swordmaster champion. He’s a Jedi. End of bloody discussion.
We’ve since named him Obi-wan.
Goblin Turn 5 – So Long, and thanks for all the dead!
Not a lot to do here. I left the wolves, as is, and re-positioned Gluglug while the two Goblin chiefs rounded the large tree. Magic phase saw Gluglug try that voodoo-that-he-does one last time, getting it off…. aaaaaaand:
Yep….again. And that, my friends, was the end of that. Note, the picture above was taken after the next turn when the High Elven Heavy Cav mopped the floor with the wolfmob, and we called ‘er a day. We just took it for pure hilarity.
I fully admit, between me making some fairly silly choices in deployment, reaction, list build and my army kind of being at-odds with me, this was not a pretty game in any way shape or form. But, it was hilariously fun- and that’s all that matters. For a new player, Cyr is pretty damned good- well versed on the 9th Age rule set, very knowledgeable of EoL tactics, and just a great guy to play against.
Some 9th Age specific take-aways:
-I love how toned down magic is, now. Even with the loss of his mages in the first two turns, the EoL player had no worries.-Goblins are still goblins, crazy amounts of gear, or not.
-The phases seem cleaner, faster and with less RAW v. RAI- everything is just a quick flip of a page, and no disputes arose at all.
So, thanks to my opponent, thanks for reading, and thanks for putting up with some of the errors in here, as this is the first BatRep I’ve done in such a way.
Up next week: Elves of Light v. my Crusaders of Brettonum (1500 points).
All the best!